Friday, November 18, 2005

Wheres my easy button?

I glance at the clock and its just after 4 AM. I am being kicked in the back by a restless 3 year old. I ask him to stop, I tell him to stop I firmly tell him he needs to stop. He whines for a drink. I tell him to hush because hes going to wake his baby brother. He continues to be loud so I pick him up to transport him back to his bed. He only gets louder and wakes his baby brother up. I put him back in our bed so he doesn't wake the other kids. Two awake at this hour is plenty.
Mr. Fun is up and getting ready for an early shift at work, T is rolling around in bed happy and awake. Wy is sound asleep at the foot of our bed. T never did fall back to sleep.
I get the kids off to school and Wy decides to wake up grumpy. He demands milk and cartoons. He gets niether untill he can calm down and ask nicely.Before he can get ahold of himself he loses cartons for the day.
I decide after an early morning from hell I deserve a drive thru trip at starbucks. I get T buckled but Wy fights me every step of the way. Screaming and kicking and swinging his arms around.
I so want my own easy buttons when he acts out. I feel like such a failure as a parent when these episodes occur. I think its because they occur every freaking single day with this child. What am i doing wrong? What could I do different? I ask myself these questions everyday. Then I feel guilty for the not so nice thought I have. I just want to spank his butt and put him in the room for the day. I hate spanking but with him its all I want to do.He acts out so much that the gentle disciplining is exhausting. I just want to spank him and call it a day. I don't because he only acts out more if I do. I want to yell at the top of my lungs, I want to scream, I want him to stop fighting everything. I say yes he says no I say stop he says go. I am mentally and physically exhausted.
I have an enoromous amount of patience, I get told this by many. Well, i'm about dry. I need a vacation away fom Wy. This saddens me. I don't feel the need to get away from the other three,just Wy.He makes every day life difficult. I can't take much more. I keep telling myself to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time even one minute at time. Just not sure how many more minutes I can take.
Yesterday he fought me on the following
1~what to eat for breakfast
2~gettig dressed,didn't want the underwear i got.
3~he didn't eat lunch because he didn't want what he asked for after a I fixed it
4~getting his shoes on
5~i put his milk in the wrong cup
6~cleaning up toys before school
7~taking a shower (did't want to)
8~getting out of the shower (didn't want to)
9~brushing teeth
10~dad gave him a towel he didn't like so dad gave him another towel,still wasn't good enough so he stood in the shower screaming for a good 5 minutes
11~staying in bed

And thats just the things that were a scene,not the little things that he fights me on that I don't feel the need to fight lke him opening the door himself. I really wanted to go shopping today and pick up my new lens. I just don't have the energy to try this with Wy in tow. I know it will be a fight. But man, I really want my new lens for the shoot today. Too bad the camera shop doesn't have a drive thru
;-) or maybe someone could loan me an easy button.
Posted by Misti :: 9:14 AM :: 5 People having fun

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